Wednesday 15 January 2020

how hurts work (part 2)

how hurts work

the worst thing to happen to hurts is that the ones who hurt you can't or don't want to acknowledge or remember that they have hurt you. they move on, uninterested in how you feel, and they may even tell you that you're a nut case if you do bring the matters up. they want you to think that everything is your own doing, that it is the result of your screwed up mind conjuring the damages. they are innocent so long they don't remember what they have done. so you carry the hurts, you hold on to the hurts, afraid that once you let go of them you're letting go of a reality that is so important to you. you're afraid that if you forget them you're losing that sense of who you are. so you carry them so deep within you that you start feeling yourself disappearing. slowly you start to think that what  they say about you are right. that everything you feel - all the disappointment and sadness and anger, are all your own imagination. you start to believe that perhaps you are mad. perhaps you are mad.