Tuesday, March 16

This is how I really Look

Some people just don't look the way they really are. We all know that-don't judge a book by its cover. But I still judge people. Oh boy. And then I go getting angry when others judge me. Do you?

What are we going to do about it?

A lady at this cafe which I frequent  keeps telling me that she can't believe that I am a teacher.
Me either. I can't believe that I am actually a teacher.


What are we gonna do about it?

Last week, one of the students in my class broke a mirror during self-portrait drawing. A few students started to crowd around the broken pieces on the floor and a few started taking photos of the broken mirror. I must say that the cracked mirror did look alot more interesting than the perfect, un-broken one. So I let them take pictures of it. But then it started getting abit out of control when a few of them started using their bare hands to pick up a few broken peices and put them on their table...they were getting excited and there was some pushing and shoving. I started yelling at them to stop crowding around it. It was a small space and I was afraid that someone might get hurt(i thought).


And when I forbid this boy, E, from keeping some of the broken pieces, he asked me why.
I told him that he might get hurt.
To which, he said: I have handled glass before.
But I said: No.
And then he said:
Don't worry, if i get hurt, my parents won't sue you.

You know something, readers?
I think E must have felt that I wasn't really as caring and concerned as I thought I was, or wanted to be.
And when I thought more about it, and asked myself if my impatience with them was due to my "concern" for them, or was it due to the anxiety and fear that I might get myself into trouble if someone gets hurt in my class.

And the answer is : maybe more the latter than the first.
He was right, I was afraid of his parents coming to me and blaming me if their precious child gets hurt in my class.


This episode pretty much explains a few things to me:
1) that most of these kids are just too controlled and protected at home. The way they went nuts at the sight of the broken mirror says it all. In fact, they simply goes nuts whenever I give them freedom to express themselves in the painting exercises.

Some are spoilt brats with parents ready to "sue" if anything goes "wrong".  Because of that, they don't learn to be responsible for their own actions.

2)  the reason why I have become more and more impatient with them is simply because I start to care less and less for them, and more for myself(my teaching job).

3) this last "discovery" is a nightmare- I think I have become abit like one of those "over-protective", anxious parents who in fact don't really care about the growth and development of the kids but treat them more like half-humans, and hope that they will behave like gems by being fierce with them and deprive them of many things deem unsuitable for them.

Is this what education is all about?

What am I going to do about it?

If this isn't me-WHO is it?



Thursday, March 11

A fluffy cloud, and a dog named Pervy.

The following paintings were really fun to make. So fun and spontaneous, that I have forgotten how to make paintings that look like them anymore. It got to happen naturally. I did them sometime in 2007 or 2008...
Hope you will enjoy looking at them.

  

  
 
 

Drawing from Life

I started a live sketching session at Taksu Gallery in the weekends a few weekends ago. It has been a challenge for me. I have always made my art in the privacy of my room/studio, and for the longest time I have felt uncomfortable having people around me when I make my paintings/drawings. But, one day in January this year, I told myself, maybe I will step out of my comfort zone and do something different! So I told Wan, the owner of Taksu Gallery, my idea. Initially he wasn't sure about it...But soon it turned out that there are actually people out there who are keen to have their portraits sketched by me! Largely thanks to Judy and Wan, who have told their friends about it. Also thanks to Theresia, who has been contacting the clients, and collecting and scanning and organising the drawings, among many other things she so meticulously does with much care and consideration. And Haslinda and Euis, who have also been helping out whenever necessary, and the nice frothy coffees they have been making for me with that machine with its occasional tantrums. Cheers.

Below is a little booklet that I have made 2 weekends ago, inspired by a family of 4 who came to the gallery looking fresh and happy. I was really tired from the morning session of drawing another family of 4, and by the time they came in, I felt the pressure of trying to come up with something exciting and fun in the planned ONE hour. Strangely, when I went back another day to look at what I had done-I was amazed by what I did. 

This booklet was done at home, partly based on a couple of photos that Euis and Haslinda took of the family, and partly from the vibes I got from them from the session. Dedicated to the Cabay family. Hope you enjoy:)












Thursday, February 25

Change

I am starting to paint again. It is so hard to paint. But I will keep doing it. Until I become better at it.

Saturday, February 20

Andy Gemmell is a sports nut.

Andy Gemmell is a sports nut. He loves the feeling of being at a live match in a studium.
Andy Gemmell is blind. He uses his imagination to form pictures of this world, and it is enough.
His attitude to being blind is: what I never had, I don't miss.
I read about this simple, happy man in the newspapers last year,  and I painted his portrait. I would love to share it with you. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend, dear reader.



Friday, February 19

Change and be Happy

 

  

  

 

Why do we fight all the time?-2009

It is easy to lose yourself (2009)